so little time

Well, I'm just 7 or so weeks away from being done with the first half of my first year of teaching. I'm sure that could have been said with less than half that many words. But anyway... I've got a little more time than usual tonight, since baby Daniel is sleeping early for some reason, so I'm going through my websites and old videos and everything. The main thing I'm realizing is that my life has changed so dramatically. When I look at my websites and all the things I used to put time into, it feels so still and silent... like my life used to be this really quiet period of waiting. I didn't realize I was waiting... but it really was like my life was just sitting there, waiting for this era that I'm in now. I'm so busy now that I can't take time to make art... or even think about art, really. I know it will be different once the first year is done, but it is SO difficult sometimes. The schedule I'm on is just crazy, and I am just not a very organized person. So many people are relying on me, and I feel like people are constantly judging my performance.... and the truth is that they are. Being a teacher is a very public role, and your performance is under constant scrutiny by principals, other teachers, people at central office, mothers, and even the kids. I've never experienced anything like this at all. My hope is simply that time will make it easier. I can't wait until I can come home and ACTUALLY relax... not just sit and worry until it's time to go in again.

Bona Fide Art Teacher

Where does that "Bona Fide" term come from anyway? I'll have to google that sometime. Anyway, just an update to say that I'm officially an elementary school art teacher now. It's amazing how it all happened, but it's a long story. It's enough to say that things have worked out in an incredible way for me, and I'm having trouble keeping up with all the change. It seems like forever that I've been in a limbo between being a student and being an adult. Now, very suddenly, over the course of just a few months, I have my career and I'm a father. I think I'm taking to the role nicely... but sometimes I do miss the time to do my creative loafing, surfing, blogging, etc.

More later.

New Dad on the scene

I realize that there are way too many blogs out there in which people simply talk about their kids... but hey, I've got to at least MENTION that I just became a father! My son, Daniel, was born on June 25th... and I am LOVING getting to know him.

Youtube kills category browsing

Youtube is adding a lot in the way of features lately. Its "test tube" section with the Adobe "Remixer" is a good enhancement (though it would be better if you could remix videos uploaded by other users). But one change they just made is very troubling. In fact, it has ruined Youtube for me.

For a while now, it has been my habit to visit Youtube and view recent, popular videos in the "News & Politics" category. Youtube gave me the ability to browse videos in each category by organizing them by "most recent" "top rated", etc. I could further organize the results by using the buttons for "today", "this week", "this month", or "all time".

The latest change in Youtube's interface has disabled the ability to browse videos by category. Sure, the "Category" tab is still at the top, but now the page for each category (example) only shows "featured" videos, which have been selected by Youtube editors. There is a small "see more" link at the bottom of the page, but when clicked, it simply reloads the same page! Now it is impossible to find popular or recent videos in any category. You can only see the videos Youtube editors have selected!

This is an awful change that severely inhibits the ability to find relevant videos on the site. It also makes it very difficult for up-and-coming content creators to have their work seen, since only "featured" videos can be seen in each category. I am afraid it may part of an effort to "pretty up" the site, since it is now to be featured on apple tv, etc. But this change has made the site useless for me. Unless they bring back the ability to browse videos by category, Youtube is just ruined.

Too many of us...

Are there MILLIONS of artworks on Deviantart.com? I sometimes find myself getting depressed about the meaning of making an artwork in a world where we are overrun with countless images... almost all of them just trying to sell us something... In such a world, it becomes literally impossible for any artist to make any kind of image that could have any kind of impact on society at all... or even be noticed.

When I look through DA, perusing the millions of heartfelt artworks of so many, many artists, I think each one deserves to be looked at and contemplated... Yes, there is a lot of "bad" work here... but even that work deserves to be looked at and taken in. There is merit in even the worst artwork. But there is not time. There is so much more art than there is time to look at art.

So I rush by, clicking and clicking, stopping only when something really catches my eye... having to ignore so many others. And I only peruse artworks because I am an artist myself. People who aren't artists would never come to DA... much less go to a gallery and really look. The TV shows and commercials give them plenty of imagery, and they can't be convinced that art would do them any good at all. There was a time when art was an important part of society. Now it seems like its nothing more than an empty caricature of what it used to be.

Art has been paralyzed by commercialism... What can we possibly do about that?

A new Video (June 7)

A strange new attempt to be creative at this 3rd shift job of mine....

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Well, I FINALLY figured out how to get the rss feed from my blog into my webpage... I had to use this gadget someone wrote to do it. So now I can finally just post to this blog instead of adding entries to my website. Googlepages is great because it's free... but it could use some work. Anyway, hopefully some better posts are on the way, since I'll get more visibility by having the posts in multiple places.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Well, this is the last month before Daniel is born. He could be born sometime this month too... I just keep worrying about whether or not I'm ready to be a father. Also, this job is starting to really get to me. I thought I would love having a lot of time late at night to work on things, but it ends up being really hard to make myself create art this late at night. I just end up wandering the internet... and it's getting really old. I really feel the fact that I haven't made any art in a long time... I need to figure out a way to start making some art and then just MAKE it. I have to make these nights more productive.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Getting closer and closer to being a dad. It won't be very long at all until I see what it's like to be on the other side of the father/son thing. It's early in the morning, and I'm at Assembly Inn doing another night shift... the second of seven in a row. I started a new blog and I've been adding things to it. It's called "Candlebarn" and it's at http://candlebarn.blogspot.com. It's a lot different than this site.. and that's good. I want a place that I can really go crazy on and just post stuff. I want this site kept a bit more tidy. TIDY.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Today is my brother's birthday. Just realized that, and feeling bad because I should have sent him something. Anyway, I just started this new job working as a night auditor in a resort hotel. This is my first overnight shift (It's 6 a.m. ... almost done). It's pretty interesting trying to stay up all night. I had planned on drinking lots of coffee, and I brought some singles, but there is no working microwave to be found. I'll have to bring a thermos next time. I am hoping that I will be able to get some art making done during these overnight shifts... I'm really only doing this because my son-to-be will need someone home during the day, and this is a way that I can do that. I'm making absolutely no sense. I'm looking forward to going home and sleeping for quite a while.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Ooh, I didn't realize until writing the date that this is a friday the 13th. That's creepy. Anyway, I just wanted to blog about a couple of pictures I've come across. These are pictures of a Godzilla playset I had as a kid. It was possibly my favorite toy ever, and I can't really explain why. What I loved the most was Godzilla himself... who was nothing more than a hunk of green plastic. There were no movable parts, no special features, nothing. But I really loved it. My parents bought it from Family Dollar for me and I'm sure they paid no more than 9 or 10 bucks. Today, this playset is so rare that it goes for hundreds of dollars. I lost all the parts to mine over the years, and, most tragically, I lost Godzilla himself when I was playing around in a college library as a kid. I still visit this library often, and you bet I still keep an eye out for my green plastic Godzilla.

Monday, April 2, 2007

DONE! I really can't even believe it, but I'm pretty much done with graduate school! So now all I have to do is get a job. Hopefully this degree will make that at least somewhat easier.

I also really need to make some art. We're in a new place, and my painting stuff is all outside in a storage unit. I can paint out there when it's nice... but I think I'm going to have to get into the whole digital art thing again. Hopefully I can make some interesting stuff and post it in the next few weeks.

Thursday, February 8, 2007

Student teaching is still going really well. I feel like I've already learned a great deal, and I know I am going to learn much more as I take on more classes.

I am really itching to make some art, but we just moved into a new place, and we put my painting materials outside in a storage building. There is a lot of room out there for painting... but it's so cold! Hopefully I can come up with a way to heat and light the place so I can make some new work. I'm also thinking about creating some new digital work. A new version of Blender should be out soon, so that should inspire me to make some new stuff.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

A lack of updates lately because I'm very busy with my student teaching experience. It's actually going really well! I'm only two weeks into it, but I've already taught a few classes, and while I still get pretty nervous, I seem to be able to really put myself out there and be enthusiastic and engaged. I feel really good about it.

Of course, there is absolutely NO time for making art right now... unfortunately. Hopefully that will change soon, as I get my lesson plans written out, etc.

Oh yeah, and the other big news I haven't written about yet is that I'm going to be a father this July! I can't wait for that part of my life to begin. I have so much to look forward to.